Thursday, November 30, 2006

this evening was breath taken just.. beautiful. theres nothing like a warm cozy fire. 9 souls sitting around it just staring to it. 9 souls not talking and i'm sure we have plenty to tell, but have you heard "lonliness can be hushed beauty".

whispers playing to my friend, smiles,dreams floating around us.

it takes some tears some tubbling to find this peace.

Greece.oh! to go to Greece or anywhere far away from here. i want to go into a cafe, buy coffee thats like 20 dollars for a barbie size, add my sugar and honey...and blahah save it for another time lee.

i think i can only handle small crowds now. i want to attend a poetry reading. snapp my fingers and pretend i'm on cloud nine.

i want to dye my hair "red" i want something hot.

my friends "think" they can acutally do it "hook me up" their walking on hot fiah!
"you'll children will be chocolate milk" i literally choked on my spitt. "And haibiti when he eats his tomatoes and speaks Arabi, Wallah! Anjad*.. SmoAllah he's so INNOCENT" i tell them.. Shue? Anjad? he's innocent and how would you know? honeslty only Allah can define and know how one man is inside. the brother is cute, he has dimples, mmm *cough* he's a possibility, hey! the woman wants chocolate babies... maybe it's in me blood to marry a black man.


k im going to bed.
Mom is stepping up on her step board (working out) watching ctv morning news, and i have thick muffled old school headphones on shaking to Mariah Carey "Honey".right next to her..i felt like 5 again :D

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

she told me "i don't understand anymore."

i told her - we'll meet, and i'll place her right infront of me, i mean right infront of me and i'll look her deep into her eyes, "say anything that comes to mind doesn't have to make sense any word -
doesn't even have to be a word.. say it to me."

i thought that would ease it not help it. she told me"no..no, tomorrow is a new day, enough with sitting."

and i said "SubanAllah, we think and feel alike" is that possible to find the other in another? So, I woke up and today is a new day, new things, new breath of air.
new everything.the way i sat and ate my breakfast looking up to my father in his puffy santa clause long johns.. today is a new day.

Was walking to the water fountain and it felt differnt and good, not scary.. not fearful, not regretful with "what if's" and "try a little harder" lingering in the back of my mind, nothing is grey anymore mixed with black and white- everything is clear, i see yellow and i think of white houses sitting on
the cliffs of Greece with the ocean right below us, with the villagers holding their colorful baskets of fruits, tanned skin woman with their faced oiled with love and happiness, dark beautiful eyes staring and gleaming, dark wavy hair woven about. i picture a man's hands, worked, calcuss*, slivered, but when you look up to this face, his eyes.. they hold an unbearing mystery to them that you shake your head, and say"no...no this is not for me, but just soak up his radiance ok? just live for the moment and if you can never fully grasp "it". do i make sense. no. so don't listen.

all done. new things are going to be created. i need a change of scenery.. I need new eyes to look and ponder about.

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Came home kinda late lastnight from work, my back feels tight. my hair is long and stringy,(I don't have time to wash it:(.It's so hard to maintain high grades, school and me well we're not best friends.Ever since school started I've being on the hardball- mixed with work, meetings. I mean I do go out for coffee and stuff but that's by chance if i bump into my friends which is on Fridays. I attend sisters/boy/gal gatherings music plays theres laughter in the air, everyone looks and smells good, theres yummy food, we play pranks we dance.. we have "our talks" we play games.. we ooo an ahhh! at magazines. I just don't feel that "fun" that I used to feel. Everything becomes like a chore now. Like a practised rotiune schedule. I follow 4 schedules my school/ my work/ my extra curricular activites, and one small one for personal things which I write on my white board in me room.I color co-ordinate everything. "orange" is for school, "yellow" is for work "blue" is for volunteer/humanitarian things because blue represents peace ? :P. and "pink" is for personal things which consits of 3 things I do every other week. I'm not whinning, I'm just venting since I have know one to vent to... I don't bother to call friend(S) anymore because I've memorized their voice-mail. I do stay in touch with my close gal friends... and that's a must. My mom sees my high-school friend more than me, she works at the Bay and mama like goes shopping most of the times there. Friend says to mom "tell alisha to call me" it's always being like that "why do i have to be the one to alwayssssss call" i do and nothing happens... just more shooving.. like i've realized more and more people truly value your relationship with em when you're hardly in sight or you've just said "F" and so long.... I never used to be one of those people that"F" and so long? mmm I was more of a mmmm :( "no, let's sit and work it out :D?" but no I really don't care anymore... why should I care? when... everything will be the same as how it was from the begining. Mmm... i would only fight for something that I truly see a cause in it, and that will lead to brighter days ahead.. don't get me wrong I love them they have a spot in my heart, but sometimes the "friEND" ends. And I've grown to experience that.AlamdiouAllah.

I went to bed thinking of something... mm like serious lifish stuff again.. BLAH!mmmm I need to once in a while to keep "those" goals in sight.

The sun is rising and shinning in my eyes.. SubanAllah! If I had a camera I would take the picture, we haven't seen the sun for a long time in Edmonton.

mmmm...Planning to do something for the XMAS holidays since my work is closed till Jan.3rd :( *sigh*... I've got movie dates made up..mm let's see what else..?I'm going to work on a manual over the break...I have a dentist appointment... I have a meeting on the 20th :)...I want to go skiing on the 22nd that's a Friday so that can give me and friends ride... I'm hitting up banffoo on the 23rd...I have a invite on the Christmas day...theres boxing day shopping NO! i'm not going shopping it's flipping mahemmmmmm... on the 29th I'm going to have friends over..on the 30th I dunoo..? on the 31st (I vow not to stay inside my house AGAIN and watch the crystal ball fall in new york while I'm half asleep watching the countdown on nbc, cbc, and all the crazayyyyyy Americans are having fun.. I'm planning to do something.. and yeh then yeh that's about it...

and I have a wedding to attend this week :).. yeh that's it.. Classes start pretty soon, I have to trudge again in the library while the creppyyyy dude STARES again.. I want to go to the counter and haul him over and beat his behind in !.....

mmm.. breathe in and out you have too much raging hormones in you this morning missay..

Monday, November 27, 2006

I, indeed, I'm a Queen.. Because I know how to rule myself!
OUT IN THE STREET... THEY CALL IT MURDER!


Welcome to Jamrock
Camp whe' te thugs dem camp at
Two pound a weed inna van back
It inna yuh handbag yuh nap sack
It inna yuh back pack
The smell a give ya girlfriend contact
Some bwoy nuh know dis
Dem only come around like tourist
On the beach with a few club soda
Bedtime stories
And pose like dem name Chuck Norris
And don't know the real hardcore
Cause Sandals a no "Back-to"
Di thugs dem wi' do whe' dem got to
And won't think twice to shot you
Don't mek dem spot you
Unless you carry guns alot too
A bear tuff thing come at you
When Trenchtown man stop laugh and block off traffic
Den dem wheel and pop-off and dem start clap it
With the pin file dow and it a beat rapid
Police come inna jeep an' dem can't stop it
Some say dem a playboy, a playboy rabbit
Get drop like a bad habit
So no bother pose tuff if you don't have it
Rastafari stands alone!



Welcome to Jamrock, hey!
Welcome to Jamrock
Out in the streets they call it murder
Uh!



Welcome to Jamdown
Poor people a dead at random
Political violence can't done
Bare ghosts and Phantom
The youth dem get blind by stardom
Now the king of kings a call
Old man to pickney
So wave unno hand if you with me
To see the sufferation sick me
Dem suit nah fit me
To win election dem trick we
Den dem don't do nothing at all
Come on let's face it
A ghetto education's basic
And most of the youths dem waste it
And when dem waste it, that's when dem tek the guns replace it
Then dem don't stand a chance at all!
And that's why a nuff little youth have some fat matic
With the exra magazine inna dem back pocket
ANd a bleach a night time inna some black jacket
All who nah lock Gloc, say dem a lock rocket
Dem wi' full you up a current like a shock socket
Dem wi' run a road block which part the cops block it
And from now till a morning nuh stop block it
If dem run outta rounds a bruk-back ratchet



Welcome to Jamrock (South side, North side)
Welcome to Jamrock (East coast, West coast)
YOW!
Welcome to Jamrock (Cornwal, Middlesex and Surrey yaw)
EH!
Welcome to Jamrock


OUT IN THE STREET THEY CALL IT MURDER
JAMAICA... JAMAICA
Welcome to Jamrock
___________________________
I LOVE THIS SONG!... I remember I was in T.O for summer vaco,I woke up my uncle's next door neighbors busting this out ..earling da morninggggggggggg. Reminded me of Guyana :).

Sunday, November 26, 2006

i went to the very top tonight. i saw stairs that kept going up and up and never stopping.i was on level three, something told me to stay still turn your heels back. i glanced up to the next flight of stairs it was dark.... i told myself i have never get this much excitment by myself it's a cold winter sunday evening and know one is in sight. i climbed and climbed, smiled more and more. got to a window overlooking the saskatchewan drive. it was loving and mysterious, i felt the butterfly effect.
it felt good- i echoed and pretenede to sing the oprah.

sometimes lonliness can be beautiful. never say that your alone. there's emotions to walk with.

sat and ate dinner bymyself tonight- mom made "tomatoe stew". was thinking i really don't want to live alone. sad thought entered into my mind you know when lonliness creeps around you in the middle of the week or at the end or anytime, and you say to yourself "ahhh!" yeh? well life will really suck when your love ones go and your all by yourself in this life- eternal lonliness. i shiver just typing that. i don't want to be alone, no one wants to be alone. mmmmm....

this song plays in my ears makes me think of victoria on the ferry.i think when i have my friends over again im going to play this as "dinner music" :).

christmas songs played on the radio today, felt cozy and cute. just me and papa riding the cruiser tonight. me and dad don't talk much just one word or eye contact does it, or a simple squint of laughter hidden in my cheeks to him- never motioning my head to him- i keep my eyes fixed on the road. dad said "when last have you sat down and looked at me in the eye?" took the breath out of me. maybe that's why i feel so glum-i need to touch my family once in a while instead of getting caught in the factory.

i'm not open- i thought i was open. i'm about other things give me a topic and i'll state all the facts. give me "me" and i can't even say anything about anything of me. people have pasts i do too, not so much of a "past" though. i thought about it lastnight "how can i want to love" when i can't begin to share myself. they say first impressions are what does it, that's not true at all, then you're judging that person for the first time on what they present to you. to understand a soul you need to.. you need to understand the sad,happy, anger, their calmness. you need to cycle through with them, you need to fall, bend up, stand up with em. you need to be their shoulder.. you can't love for what meets the eye, you need to get on the horse and gallop into them.. and never let go. if you truly love someone you fight for it, you have so much energy that you fight for it. you tell yourself " i'm going to be with you" and that's it- you fight it and get it. in most cases sometimes it's not easy to get, but hey which love story didn't rain it's tears? eternal love is
happy days mixed with sad days" the strengt to love. that's what powers us. love for everything doesn't have to be initmate. love for everything. damn!

i remember being in kung-fu i was at blue belt intermediate level. i was going for my brown belt test. once i got my brown belt it was two more till black. i had to do round-house kick I HAITED that kick. i had to break the board while running..no wait sprinting across the room and flinging my leg into some "acrobatic"* move in the air turn and "powWOW!" kick the board in half. i failed my blue belt (3) times... because i couldn't kick the board. mom told me to drop out " it's too much money" kung-fu isn't going to get you into college, " it a hassle" blhahaha. i wanted to get my brown belt i was mad at myself , i wanted it more than anything. emotionally wanting my brown belt to achieve something. i physically sweated,bled, bruised for that fricker.
i practised, and practised- i bought fake boards from the catolgue* to get better, nasseba helped hold the board which lead to her getting kicked in the nose(by ACCIDENT) and her screaming- and me getting into TROUBLE!

it was december- i was going for it again the fourth time. bob marley was playing in the van "buffalo solider" download the lyrics and you'll know why it got me going :P.
i told dad " i'm going to get it tonight" dad looked at me, and smiled. it was game time baby! the sweat the nerves the smokey smell that waved into the room from the bar next door was making home around me. geared up with my groin guard(yes girls need to wear it too:).chest guard, shin guard, stinky mouth guard, head gear, gloves, foot gear, and it was "sparring time" i like that part it's easy to whopp ass!. then game "form time" i had mastered the art of "screaming from my gut" like a man that went smoothly:P. I was nevervous, it was the real machoy, my feet stained the carpet with sweat, my face was red, my throat was dry, i wanted it.. give it to me dirty chipped with broken pieces, bruises can be healed.

I took my position- the lyrics to buffalo solider played in my head, said BismAllah ( I said it out aloud) sprinted hard, flew up in the air, turned around, stretched out my leg, and flipping kicked the son of a bitch in half. it felt so good.. damn good like i just fought a battle. i felt very manish :P. i broke it. dad came, asked with gleam and fear "did you pass" told him yes, didn't want to cry for happiness, can't cry infront of dad. he patted me on the shoulder, i know i made him feel good.

i marked the date and time i broke the board.. i still have it.

i wrote this entry because these are the fragments that played in my mind today, and it doesn't make sense... it's not supposed too. just had to type it down for safe being.

assignments await :)

Friday, November 24, 2006

she makes me smile..
_________________________
i miss them, all of them. it's so hard to turn a blind eye and keep on walking, to end a conversation so quick when you know from before you could have asked the person out to coffee and chance out for a nice day out in wonderland.

i saw a girl dance this evening, she had passion,energy in her...i used to have that and i miss it. i hait the word "isolation", "punishment". i feel like i'm punishing myself.

i miss so much from everyone later do you flipping realize what was truly good and beautiful. i'm reminded more and more of the simple tokens i took from people without notice, how one soul can say so much to you they reveal the streets that have being forgotten and you listen and take all of it in and your words can not amount to anything to tell them how "blessed" you are to hear their stories, and tales. you keep so much bottled inside that it's cracking and soon enough darling the glass will crack and make you bleed, is that what you want "to bleed".

i dreamt lastnight my dad died, it was as real as it can get i felt scared, my throat was dry. i remember telling my mom in the dream "life..is going to be so much different now" i couldn't accept i refused. i woke up to the sound of my cell.. back into reality. that feeling lingered, i brushed my teeth and i realized more and more "one day dad's not going to be here" this feeling will come sooner or later just a matter of time- everything in this life is just a matter of time, time..tick tock. tick tock. get on the lifeboat!

i feel very lost. yes lost. confused. cold. distant. furthering my self more and more, adding the distances instead of the closeness. i find that i'm always alone. i'm not that willing anymore.i caught a reflection of myself on the train- and i looked again, and i smiled knowing her it was like another person in me created all flrom scratch looking at a face i used to know.

i miss so much, kind of regretting. kind of hapyy i did it.

it's like everytime i think about it, my head is shoved back down.

i have makeup on my face and i'm lazy to move from my warm chair.

i miss..so much.

mmmmm.. grumple.. :(

Thursday, November 23, 2006



i like this pic, it looks funked.


beach sand feels so good on the feet ....*sigh*
___________________________________________
I wanted to post this up like wayzzers back but I got busy so here it is, I was reading a story and I can't remember who wrote it and I feel bad not given credit..so yah here's a thought for today from some beautiful soul that wrote it:)

I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach and not, when I came to die, discovering that I had not lived.

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

...mmmm I'm tired stupid WORK!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:)
there's fire in me soul...

sometimes you gotta place yourself in a room all by yourself, lock the door blast some music on and just go wild and crazay!!!!!!!!!! I did this 2 in the morning- I was caught by mom staring at me with her mouth to the floor; her: "you can dance like that?" I got yelled at and shoved back into bed... I got yelled at some more this morning and a curfew was set to me- I just smiled this evil smile, I feel very rebellious.

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

I'm going to look like a geek a little child with 3 kodak cameras, the one that you pick up from the check out aisles as you purchase your grocceries.. See ms.thang doesn't have enough moula to buy herself a decent camera :( so she must resort to the next phase "bright yellow card board box cameras" *sigh* I hope they fit into my dinner purse.

Stupid summary assgn awaits... :)

Monday, November 20, 2006

I walk the old streets and observe your life, you traders in the stalls, as you send out your unsolicited calls to passersbys. It's the sweet longing to earn that imbues your day with excitment and experience, yet doesn't diminish your worth, as if here indeed were the fabled longing to "rest" in idleness". Yes; for this longing quite lacks the freny that tries to snatch everything up. There is not haste in it. No envy.

The Unromantic Orient-Muhammad Asad(Translated by the German by Elma Ruth Harder)
blahahah blahahaha...more blahahahaha.

Sunday, November 19, 2006

i dedicate many things to them.
if i could give you something? of what though? all i can share are secrets of the past and for the future, my thoughts are bound tight with black tape.

i thought you held the knife to cut through it.
your hands are cold?
because they've never being held before.
i felt warmth against my chest.

i've being hearing of many pleas and offers. tears are collecting to be a pond. it will freeze over and we can go ice skating.

i haven't felt the sun..
i haven't felt you .

i feel coiled and tight. my heart doesn't even beat quick anymore.

i always wondered what your scent was over a period of time it made greetings with me. sometimes i would be walking and i swear the angel comes infront of me and waves into me.

remove all obstacles make the path clear- guide me ...

i feel something. we all feel something.

it's night time, the week begins again but to what? more of factory days are fairytale days. i have to run for the bus again tomorrow morning rumage for my bus pass, say howdy what else has changed. feel the metal against my crackled dry hands as i move the nob to 56,43,13...click open my locker, to my world that i will create once more again today.

walk again.



off to bed.
On the way to work this morning:

"you know dad I've realized I get my heart and energy from you"

dad just looked to me and smiled.

and well from mama I get my mouth and crazy hair:P.



.................Sometimes a simple breath and smile does it.



Saturday, November 18, 2006

I had a dream lastnight:I have always yearned to go to this land. Now I am here. The window of my empty room looks onto green hill country, white only where the line of the road winds itself into the lush hills. Standing at the window, I feel the uncanny oppression of a tragic destiny.

-The Unromantic Orient (Muhammad Asad) Translated from the German by Elma Ruth Harder

Friday, November 17, 2006

get on the lifeboat!
I never went to bed lastnight..and o boy! am I ever feeling the effects- my back aches and calls for sleep. I have work today plus gals whooot!partay tonight....
After work I have to go buy gifts.

I reallyy want my bed..........................!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Thursday, November 16, 2006

I usually don't post formal announcements on here because this is moi space :), however I do feel that I have some blogn fans that read my thoughts which is good because sharing is good. So I'm going to do this once and then you guys check out the links and get hooked up..iights?

Olay!

________________________________________________________________________

let's go.........................

check sistersinthezone.blogspot.com for ongoing communtiy Islamic events happening near you!
Want to be added to the email list to get into the sista hood freedom vybration? Then email at:

sistersinthezone@gmail.com

We're going to be updating this blog quite frequently so keep checking it, we sill want that cozy warm feeling of sista hood.

Wa Salam;

Sistas in da zone

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

lately, lately and more lately. i feel i'm losing it all. that passion that eagerness that happiness i took for granted that excitment i've lost it i think. that chord that played within me made it's inner within me, that lust, that hunger, that warmth, those "jitters" the butterfly effect has grown wings over these times, and is making it's way more rapid and quick throughout my chest to a land somewhere else- i let it go, let it enter into someone new.

sometimes i'm caught in the moment wanting to enter into it again. we made promises to yourself. strength has covered me now, my eyes look but they do not gaze anymore, i simply stare for the being of it all.

it's hard to fill the circle by yourself, drawing the tie closer and closer and soon enough i will be in the middle of the cirlce staring outwards. acceptance is hard to deal with, reality sometimes holds you by suprise as a pink, gold, peach, white fairy dust sparkle book, and sometimes you leave it open too long and the sparkle fairy dust is blown away leaving... leaivng a black and white book. that's it black and white it's plain to read no crazy colors to pick out, your colors are straight how hard is it now to make the choice.. everything becomes simpler and simpler as you grow older and older, and acceptance replaces the fairydust , with reality.

do i make sense? i hope so or i'm really losing it. when people ask "what's wrong" i don't like to say because if i even dream too i would be put into a white room with white pants a white shirt with my hair all messed around with black eyes making it's markings under them.

water is peaceful, green dark water.the sun is pretty. the trees are strong. sometimes i hear them talk to me. i was walking to get coffee this morning and this black leaf dropped right infront of me "a leaf does not fall without him knowing it"-
a little while after i was thinking "i don't read Quran much", later did i realize my state of reflection on the leaf and thinking back to the phrase of "a leaf does not fall without him knowing it" made me smile.

i think about twenty years from now, how my life will be, how your life will be ? and theirs. everything i talked about with my friends all the little conversations the moments the smiles everything i pray i never forgot for that is what has moulded me so far- part of my mould. sometimes it's hard for things to leave the tip of your tongue and i hait myself for it, but the best words are those that are kept within, and trust it comes out to play ...sooner or later.

tears collect in my hands and i taste them to be reminded
sometimes it's hard to stay focus.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006




:D ...maybe someday to come InshAllah.


i've being dreaming all day about this picture and i had to put it on...

hopefully they show this movie again on cbc for the holidays. one of the most beautiful movies put together... you got age,distance,love, passion,journey, healing..all those emotional droppey words..well hey gals and and dudes- fits in there.

love can touch us one time and last for a life time.
near or far i do believe that the heart does go on. you'll hear in my heart that it will go on and on. your here theres nothing i fear and i know that my heart will go on, we'll stay forever this way, you are safe in my heart and it will go on.


this i promise.
and never let go...
i will never let go.
morning gals and boys.... Yes ms.thang is off from school that means catching up with things and working too :)...

me and naseeba went shopping yesterday and might I say we busted out some good deals.
ladies and dudes go to OLD NAVY the best clothes for like wikid cheap.

I got pants for $12.99
Tank - $9.99
long shirt- $14.99
nice blue stripped dress shirt- $9.99

and each one of em is an ADDITIONAL 50% off..I NO!

then came the dynmo the DYNAMITE store!

grey jeans for- $20.00
long black (army lookn trench coat with belt)- $14.99
necklace- $3.00

and it looks impressive :D....naseeba is a high roller...*ahem*

anyoo... i need to print things, and my bloody feet are cold. mates

Monday, November 13, 2006









dad: "why don't you take your mother's curtains and wrapp it around yah"

let's hope it doesn't fall off :S(lol)

Sunday, November 12, 2006

get your head back into gear.




the whole familo is sick thanks to big me :(.

im off from school for a week..one whole long flippng week. trying to catch up on some stuff...mm almost done. i hait school. we should work hard in some crummy office and just travel perodically..life would be so ..ah bliss. but one must always seek knowledge to make sure their hands can use it- to work with.


im on a back log, is that a word.mmm....?? sundays suck big time..(look outside)
i need the sun to soak up on my back..

mmm... baba is here.. which is my ride, bank account, security, comedy relief, my old man to crack wise jokes with, and last my security blanket.

:)bye folks.

Saturday, November 11, 2006

I'm on a dock overlooking my mind
I hitch my boat and I drift off
Where fools whisper lies

Everything's a sign when dreams come alive

I'm not crazy at all, my friends they talk
I try to listen, but waves keep crashing
Against my mind to pull me where
The years are days and all those days
Are years I've lost
They've finally come to tell me
I'm alive in a boat to catch myself


Inside a dream

Everything's a sign when dreams come alive
Everything's a sign but still
You're asking why love is across
The frozen lake that always seems to break
When you walk to the other side

You are here now
We're not crazy at all
You are free now
We're not crazy at all
You are safe now
We're not crazy at all
You are

west indian girl- dream



i want to start a revolution...i want to mould and make something. mmmmm? choices..choices...maybe we can have a day where we go to the cinema TOGETHER, and watch disney movies and after we can crash at my place and have a talking feast...

*sigh*...look outside, that's why i'm talking like this.

via libre ? (right) :P









as ya'll can see, i love black and white photos because me thinks color pictures are too crazy and too hard to read. with black and white- well hey! it's black and white :) ? don't ask.
lastnight was good, AlamdiouAllah i loved it.

we need to marry a black man, end of story :).

i'm better from my so called "sore throat/ stomach flu...AlamdiouAllah.

i'm delerious* off of antibiotics*

when your sick for one day..one flipping day. you leave the world for one day, the missed calls, the emails that you get PILE UP!

i'm still a little doped up from my meds, i will be back to write a peaceful blog entry.

some people are beautiful.. "i love you because you taught me about myself, i love you because your beauty speaks to me in words."

when people ask you "why your not married?" when your going to get married?" i've thought about it, theres this life to get married in, and the next InshAllah, all good things come in due times, be patient. makes things so much better.


i'm off today------------------------ shopping? no!....movie? yeah! :P

Wednesday, November 08, 2006






















i'm bored..hence look above
okay taken a break from law.

can i say this of all the people why must ME..yes me get a cold sore!
right in the middle of my lip. why!

bad things always happen to the GOOD people. puff!

on another note, pray that tomorrow goes by fast I get my mid-term mark back..*sigh* as i say; it's just a test can't make a break yah, the real test is right now! :)
yes im cornay, on another note lots of love magic fairy dust tales are happening in deadmonton again- and i'm just sitting back taken in the scenes, imma be the wedding co-cordinator.. ummm i just had a bake chicken with mustard i love mustard...mmm and the fire place is keeping me warm on a LONLEY cold winter night.

okay...me off. i scanter off...i dreamt i was pregnant lastnight..AGAIN! i no!

lolll
alisha quote for today-

crunch the snow by yourself, leave a footprint- come back to it a few days later and see if it's still there.

? don't ask :p

Tuesday, November 07, 2006



Nelly Furtado Te Busque



Some love inside me to give
I couldn't rest I had to keep on searching

Te busque de bajo de las piedras y no te-encontre
En la maƱana fria y en la noche te-busque
Hasta enloquecer
Pero tu llegaste a mi vida como una luz
Sanando las heridas de mi corazon
Haciendo me-sentir vivo otra vez

I've been too sad to speak and too tired to eat
Been too lonely to sing the devil cut off my wings
I've been hurt by my past but I feel the future

In my dreams and it lasts I wake up I'm not sure
I wanted to find the light something just didn't feel right
I needed an answer to end all my searching

I look in the mirror the picture's getting clearer
I wanna be myself but does the world really need her
I ache for this earth
I stopped going to church
See God in the trees makes me fall to my knees
My depression keeps building like a cup overfilling
My heart so rigid I keep it in the fridge
It hurts so bad that I can't dry my eyes

I've been high I've been low
I've been fast I've been slow
I've had nowhere to go
Missed the bus missed the show
I've been down on my luck
I've felt like giving up
My life locked in a trunk
When it hurt way too much
I needed a reason to live

_______________________________

listen to every word, and get to it.

Monday, November 06, 2006

maybe i should got to the east coast and find me a newfuie*

we'll have red freckle face, brown head children. and hey i might have to bring in fish from the cold morning and wear em green rubber boots, i might bake him a blue huckle berry pie, i might have to hang the clothes on the line outside or if i'm lucky walk down to the laundry mart and do our laundary- i might work in some crummy office, and at night i'm helping him with the days catch.

but you know what makes this all fun and loving, we can sit on the cove and allow the water to brush up on our feet, we can go to the top of the light house and pretend we have left on a vaction for a little while- as the town sleeps.


love for the simplicty.

:)- go and study!











morning glory sunshine :)







I should be listening...
i need prayers i'm writing the most ouchiest mid-term this wednesday...


i need strong arms.

Sunday, November 05, 2006

maybe you were looking but not really seeing.
A brief candle; both ends burning
An endless mile; a bus wheel turning
A friend to share the lonesome times
A handshake and a sip of wine
So say it loud and let it ring
We are all a part of everything
The future, present and the past
Fly on proud bird
You're free at last
________________________

I found this in the "quote book" today. The best quotes are made from the tip of your tongue dripping off like sweet honey in a mere second, that's poetry.

Saturday, November 04, 2006











Among shattered stones, still lays beauty within.
i want to move away, i really want to move away forever.



i don't want to see reality for what it's being all this time,tears are too much.
i wish there was this call button i could press it and you could come to me.

walk alone, it's good for you, well keep thinking that .

Friday, November 03, 2006

" he his a man, and you are a woman"

"no, i'm the little girl inside of a woman, and he, yes he his the man"

...it just caught a noodle in my head this evening.
some people touch me and have left a lasting impression on my heart, i truly realize and of more accepting, of the simple fact- that i can give love to a friend, and they can return it to me by sharing their little hiden secrets that lay in their eyes to me.

it's the simple things. down town is pretty at night. let's go wine and dine at that cafe for 1 hr, we'll enter into fairy dust living, we'll talk about random things, and we'll let go of the defenses that we are "pretending" to put up, but we both see it- we're pretending for saftey.

don't act like that.







_______________________________
I love photo hunting, i'm trying sushi tonight, very first time :)