she told me "i don't understand anymore."

i told her - we'll meet, and i'll place her right infront of me, i mean right infront of me and i'll look her deep into her eyes, "say anything that comes to mind doesn't have to make sense any word -
doesn't even have to be a word.. say it to me."

i thought that would ease it not help it. she told me"no..no, tomorrow is a new day, enough with sitting."

and i said "SubanAllah, we think and feel alike" is that possible to find the other in another? So, I woke up and today is a new day, new things, new breath of air.
new everything.the way i sat and ate my breakfast looking up to my father in his puffy santa clause long johns.. today is a new day.

Was walking to the water fountain and it felt differnt and good, not scary.. not fearful, not regretful with "what if's" and "try a little harder" lingering in the back of my mind, nothing is grey anymore mixed with black and white- everything is clear, i see yellow and i think of white houses sitting on
the cliffs of Greece with the ocean right below us, with the villagers holding their colorful baskets of fruits, tanned skin woman with their faced oiled with love and happiness, dark beautiful eyes staring and gleaming, dark wavy hair woven about. i picture a man's hands, worked, calcuss*, slivered, but when you look up to this face, his eyes.. they hold an unbearing mystery to them that you shake your head, and say"no...no this is not for me, but just soak up his radiance ok? just live for the moment and if you can never fully grasp "it". do i make sense. no. so don't listen.

all done. new things are going to be created. i need a change of scenery.. I need new eyes to look and ponder about.