I was reading some of my past entries, and WOW! One big word that conveys my humuliation *I have done to me soul, embrassment, can someone or maybe I should imprint IDIOT on my forehead. I feel so looserish today... maybe I talk too much about myself, maybe I ask for too much pitty in my conversations with people ' one to one ' I'm not a good listner these days, I stray away from HUGE crowds of people, I RATHER sit bymself . Today at work I decided to work in office where NO one was seated everyone else was in the other room, talking, musing, laughing. I rather just get the work done, make phone calls, listen and follow through what they tell me to do, and go my way and recieve my award at the end of mmm two weeks :) . Today I cut out orange pumpkins and made vines for them out of green construction paper, we are decorating the office in ' harvest' style that's right , Halloween and Thanksgiving is just seconds away :D, I'm doing all of this with that sick feeling of ' back to school / going to be early / reading / know freind seeing, or loving * SIGH* .

This week was good, AlamdiouAllah the days will get better... doing this for one reason, and only one reason. Ramadan is coming around, within what three weeks or so :), things will get better.

I found , and I'm going to make it habitual* blah, to go for coffee on Fridays after work ... Wow, it feels so good, like olalala finger licking good. Met up with a stranger after work today, went through some important things that were not relevant to my personal life, or school or work, just * side / business things* ( I can not disclose any info ) I probably talked my head off, and sounded way tooo CRUNKED..like wackoo...maybe I should keep certian things tucked away inside of me, don't show too much of that side, save it for someone...Moving on :) * Ahem* clears throat anyoo it feels good to meet up with anyone and just talk out the weeks events, and for the future clear the mind, go home with a smile on ya face, enjoy the weekend, soak up whatever radiance you recieve, enjoy life ... I learned from the stranger " to enjoy this moment " this very moment intacked in my finger tips as I type away, this moment as my yellow kitchen light stings my eyeballs, this moment of my ears listening to the computer making that ' humming sound'. Respect yourself,..... ' respect yourself ' that struck a cord in me , a dusty thick chord once played on a violin now stored away in some far away actic down under.

I also learned that you must always see the good, always see the good, don't even look at the bad, that way YOU MOVE ON, you don't feel any negative feelings....

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Ok? I just wrote this entry lastnight, and somehow in the end it's in spanish??, maybe the ending was not meant to be read, I take this cue from above...moving on :)