I dreamt I was pregnant lastnight, like my belly was somewhat big, between 2-3 months pregnant, my belly looked really bronzy , and fake, and my bellybutton stuck out, so I had the symptoms of a pregnant women. Later on in my dream I was at southgate shopping mall, buying chocolate from ' Bear Mountain' I decided not to get the chocolate beacause I thought I was going to get from fat it, I soon realized that since I found out that I was pregnant I had still being on my diet, and not eating the right foods as a pregnant women should, I got this panic that my baby was dead in me , because I didn't eat enough for it to eat, I was so scared, and all these emotions running through my mind ' my first baby is gone, my first baby ' and it felt that I could never be pregnant again because I just knew I would loose my soon to be baby. I was all alone, I felt like I was a single mother in the dream just my parents and sister were there, along with some of my good gal freinds. I remember telling my mom ' I wish I had eaten all of those foods' it totally slipped my mind that I was even pregnant, and the regret I was feeling ' ouch'. I told my mom I wanted to go too the clinic to see if the baby was still alive, my mom pressed on my belly, and it sunked in, my belly just inflated in and out, like a ball that hasn't being pumped for some time, it hurt too when she presssed on it...... It was total chaos.....

I woke up tears in and around my eyes, and it truly felt that I just lost my baby, and how I really wanted ' that baby' to be in my arms. I felt like a mother who just lost her child, I have never felt such emotions before. Two nights before I also dreamt that I was holding a baby, it was a girl, in a baby pink jumper, she had brown curly hair, and she had gold studs in her ears, with a cute little gold bangel on her wrist, her legs were cute and pudgy, I was holding her in my arms, she smelled so sweet, and felt so innocent, the love I had for her was beyond words I can convey- I was her mother, and she was my child, I took pains to get her. I remember coming in to mamas bedroom sitting on her bed, watching her put on her make-up, it was like I was the little girl watching my mom, and I was that ' women ' holding her child. The baby girl was tanned, looked mixed with cute little features , she had brown eyes, and long lashes.....

I write all of this, because it's the most vivid dream , I haven't dreamt about anything or anyone for a long time, just busy doing things- my mind hasn't had thE time to just dream.....I felt something. In both of the dreams I was alone, the father wasn't there. I kinda feel scared right now as I type that....No father...my family was there.

Allah makes you have dreams for a reason ' guidance ' .... I take it, and walk with it.

To the future :)