mmm so I'm working on this law document almost done- took so much out of me.
i'm kinda bored- a friend would be nice.
i'm really lonley i always get like this- when i'm fed up of doing studies.
i have classes still 9 tonight :( i woke up this morning at 4:30 i know a friend that goes to bed at that time- and when i awoke i had the energy and might to smile- he's going to bed right now.
i wake up to the alarm off my cell i force myself out of bed- i brush my teeth then make wuzzuuu- then i get dressed listening to Quran (the best way to begin a day is with Allah words) i put on my clothes that i set out from the night before- i clip my hair back put on my chain-put on some toner then some blush to look alive- i go downstairs take my coffee- cult half a whole-wheat bagel put a slice of orange armstrong cheese on it-pop into the microwave for 50 seconds vola! i eat in the darkness with the peac light playing in and around me- the computer is buzzing- dad comes down with his pj's on looks at me mummbles a Salaam comes and hugs me and since 'now you hear, have a good day no' with his mouth still muffled from sleep. I finish eating i back upstairs make up my bed -spray my room with room spray- i get my napsack and my purse plus cell phone- go downstairs put on coat and booths- it's 6:15am by now and the bus comes at 6;30- i got 15 minutes to look myself in the mirror and give myself a pep talk- i smile and i tell myself "i'm a fresh new girl with a fresh new start" i've being saying since i was mmmm like 9? me thinks yeh.
i catch the bus with the same people- i read Quran- look over some notes- check my cell for missed calls (0) i do some collective thinking as the bus rolls and makes it stops. i get off by cityhall and i walk the rest to grant mac(i see the homeless on the streets scurying from one dark corner to the next) i pray under my breath and hold my purse closer to me and i don't look in their direction- i wear that 0.95 big ring i got from aldo for a reason so i can knock em out if i get attacked.....
i cross the lights- i dunoo why but cars like to run me over..or atleast try- i yell some words at em (they can't hear me from inside their car) i shake my head and keep on walking- i get into building 6- go to timz get my one large black coffee with milk on the side- i go to my locker get my books- pray fajr- look over notes- read peoples blogs if i have the time to spare or to see how their doing- i look for quotes that fit my mood for the day- and i go to my eventful classes....
__________________________________________
i told my friend i leave my house when it's dark and i go home when it's dark- we all sacrafice to get that job eh? that status- you need status to get your rear anywhere in this life- but we should always remember this life is nothing but a drop in the ocean- a drop my love. so here's my motto wann listen doll? if you do bad on an exam/ assg/ quiz/ lab- it's not the end of the world- you can improve- you can study harder- your going to get to the finish line- just going to take a little longer- but you'll get there. and victory tastes so well when deserved and earned right. i'm almost done this phase or so i would like to think-
my heart feels numb- frozen in time- i use to have a great depth of concern and love, and admiration for some- things change- people change.
____________________________________
lately i don't make sense and i think that's valid for a twenty year old girl.
everything feels confused the only thing that's going right is school.
i want order with my feelings- feels like a jungle when i touch my chest.
with green vines and tigers and monkeys and butterflys all over the place- with the sun trying to peak through but the trees are too thick to allow any kind of sun to penerate- give me the heat one more time? i want the heat. i want the butterfly effect.
____________________________________
sometimes i forget that my blog is public and i should be cautious of the things i type-their just words- words mixed with confusion and bitter sweet dreams to feed me.
it's like we're patients on a life machine- were just in wonderland- waiting till they pull the plug.
__________________________________
your different alisha- you sound depressed on your blogs?
blogs are a place for venting unleashing the feelings you can not put aside or bring out of your mouth to a soul- because to say to this someone would be a tad iffish-
okay my time is up- time for school again!
love you.
i'm kinda bored- a friend would be nice.
i'm really lonley i always get like this- when i'm fed up of doing studies.
i have classes still 9 tonight :( i woke up this morning at 4:30 i know a friend that goes to bed at that time- and when i awoke i had the energy and might to smile- he's going to bed right now.
i wake up to the alarm off my cell i force myself out of bed- i brush my teeth then make wuzzuuu- then i get dressed listening to Quran (the best way to begin a day is with Allah words) i put on my clothes that i set out from the night before- i clip my hair back put on my chain-put on some toner then some blush to look alive- i go downstairs take my coffee- cult half a whole-wheat bagel put a slice of orange armstrong cheese on it-pop into the microwave for 50 seconds vola! i eat in the darkness with the peac light playing in and around me- the computer is buzzing- dad comes down with his pj's on looks at me mummbles a Salaam comes and hugs me and since 'now you hear, have a good day no' with his mouth still muffled from sleep. I finish eating i back upstairs make up my bed -spray my room with room spray- i get my napsack and my purse plus cell phone- go downstairs put on coat and booths- it's 6:15am by now and the bus comes at 6;30- i got 15 minutes to look myself in the mirror and give myself a pep talk- i smile and i tell myself "i'm a fresh new girl with a fresh new start" i've being saying since i was mmmm like 9? me thinks yeh.
i catch the bus with the same people- i read Quran- look over some notes- check my cell for missed calls (0) i do some collective thinking as the bus rolls and makes it stops. i get off by cityhall and i walk the rest to grant mac(i see the homeless on the streets scurying from one dark corner to the next) i pray under my breath and hold my purse closer to me and i don't look in their direction- i wear that 0.95 big ring i got from aldo for a reason so i can knock em out if i get attacked.....
i cross the lights- i dunoo why but cars like to run me over..or atleast try- i yell some words at em (they can't hear me from inside their car) i shake my head and keep on walking- i get into building 6- go to timz get my one large black coffee with milk on the side- i go to my locker get my books- pray fajr- look over notes- read peoples blogs if i have the time to spare or to see how their doing- i look for quotes that fit my mood for the day- and i go to my eventful classes....
__________________________________________
i told my friend i leave my house when it's dark and i go home when it's dark- we all sacrafice to get that job eh? that status- you need status to get your rear anywhere in this life- but we should always remember this life is nothing but a drop in the ocean- a drop my love. so here's my motto wann listen doll? if you do bad on an exam/ assg/ quiz/ lab- it's not the end of the world- you can improve- you can study harder- your going to get to the finish line- just going to take a little longer- but you'll get there. and victory tastes so well when deserved and earned right. i'm almost done this phase or so i would like to think-
my heart feels numb- frozen in time- i use to have a great depth of concern and love, and admiration for some- things change- people change.
____________________________________
lately i don't make sense and i think that's valid for a twenty year old girl.
everything feels confused the only thing that's going right is school.
i want order with my feelings- feels like a jungle when i touch my chest.
with green vines and tigers and monkeys and butterflys all over the place- with the sun trying to peak through but the trees are too thick to allow any kind of sun to penerate- give me the heat one more time? i want the heat. i want the butterfly effect.
____________________________________
sometimes i forget that my blog is public and i should be cautious of the things i type-their just words- words mixed with confusion and bitter sweet dreams to feed me.
it's like we're patients on a life machine- were just in wonderland- waiting till they pull the plug.
__________________________________
your different alisha- you sound depressed on your blogs?
blogs are a place for venting unleashing the feelings you can not put aside or bring out of your mouth to a soul- because to say to this someone would be a tad iffish-
okay my time is up- time for school again!
love you.
posted by Surrendering at 10:37 AM
<< Home