so i got to class and all we did was watch another document film(meh i had my time to think)was sipping on my timz and of course the effects of caffeine brings on the bloated tummy so i went to the bathroom. Walked outside and there was this girl just staring to the window outside- pressing her forhead into it- i stared at her i could feel the cold glass on her forhead as i do sometimes when the mind has overthinked overworked- i saw her shaking- i thought she was coughing- this was a different shake a more- collapse i'm weak and tired shake- i went to her and i asked her the rethorical question "what's wrong hunney" and she said without holding back- "today is the anniversary of my father's death"- and she cried more- and i didn't care if she didn't want me to hold her i just held her- because we all know when we're at our breaking point- and you look around and your gasping for relief- for things to be normal the way it used to be- but nothing is ever normal- nothing will ever be eternal happiness,or love, anything..... this life is mixed with happiness,sad, anger all three emotions to test us. i told her she's strong and that i will pray for her easement...i told her the same words i told my mom when her mother passed away "your going to see him-theres no question about that it's just going to take time." And I just held her.

I walked to the bathroom and I didn't have the urge to pee anymore and i thought about it- if dad or mom or naseeba were to pass- life ...life.. theres no words to convey what i would feel. and i thought about it more- i don't care if people give me attitude and makes you feel like shit, i don't care if someone doesn't want to talk to me- i don't care if freinds from before are no longer in my horizon- i don't care..i don't care if people think i'm being a bitch.. i don't- and i learned one thing yesteryday afternoon from a long conversation from my friend- if people don't appreciate you- then don't wast your time on them- and it's true regardless of anything.

life's too short. when i go home today i'm going to hug my parents.
so much is occuring in me.. too much emotions... but it's just one more test i need to pass and i'm this much closer..to eternity.