Why am I up so early? My chest feels like thread holding a five ton elevator. I feel dizzy. I feel crazy. Life is all about facing and making choices- but which one their all so jist with sparkles.,

I give my mom and dad so much credit for when they made choices back in the day regarding their life, coming to a new land, new life- making decisions regarding me and my sister that would be good for the long run. It's always for the long run- what works best.
Me and my mom have become closer and closer we talk like sisters now, she said "alisha make a pro and con list" and I smiled knowing I came from the right mother and those pre-motions I had about me being swapped in the baby room by accident was "nothing at all" - I smiled. Dad says go for something that's good for the long run- my dad will be turning sixty this coming of July.13 InshAllah (dad has being places, seen things- and when I listen to him- I see the value and worth in things) so listen to parents which are telling me to "follow my heart" which I really want them to sit me down and tell me pin point what to do- but I'm a "big-woman" has my mom says and she said I will learn from the outcome of making my own choices- she says this is where you gain wisdom. Follow what my heart first told me.

I'm very hungry right now and contemplating walking around in "da hood". With the light cool morning breeze playing with my face let's dance in darkness while there is still twilight in the air?

I haven't talked to some people this year now-and since school is coming to a close my mind will play with my thoughts that have lay dormant for this year. One thing I have learned from friends is: "You can say all the nice words from the dictionary, be very polite, smile, share words of vitality, laughter- but it doesn't mean squat in the end". PEOPLE, I don't FORSAKE for anything anymore- I don't hold on anymore- it's really sad knowing I really don't care to digest something I know isn't real anymore. People change so much, I change. A friend is a stranger just passing by in the moment of it all- let's touch and taste. A friend well you don't call them friends you refer to them by their name because "name" represents them- Friend is just a coiled, braided- term used for when we were little.

I don't make sense.Well love, life is not supposed to... it will when your eyes close.