i came home, went into the bathroom locked it, made sure it was locked good and miss.naseeba wouldn't bust open with a clothes hanger and interupt me. Dimmed the lights, fulled the tub with hot water i didn't care if it burnt my skin, threw in some baby oil and lavendar bath salts....while the tub filled ran down stairs made some chamoile steeped tea.. ran up back, the tub was almost done. brought the celly in with me rested it on bath towels...went in & damn that felt good. i wrinkled till i was a prune, i haven't felt such relief..AlamdiouAllah. My neck feels a bit lose and my skin feels better ..it can breathe. I put on some mango body butter that stuff works wowzers.. some coconut conditioning in the hair braided it and volala. I took extra time this evening and pampered myself.. i'm sticking to my studying plan. I can't wait till the 15th InshAllah.

I feel like having a party OR going to a party.
I feel kinda gloomish inside...My mom said "this hormone is kicking in, i feel sad" just the way she said it was cute and loveable enough. My sister said she wants to hit up Jamaica* smoke ganja with the rasta bais.. and ride a bike around town. I told naseeba to make a blog, she said no thanks peace out, naseeba doesn't use msn, or blogging, hardly uses the email only if shes doing up something really important with another person that's when she checks it , naseeba uses the computer to check her marks print notes, dl funny "black people skits" looks for "ghetto hijab clothes" ...and yeh thats about it, naseeba only goes out when theres an event most of the time shes by mamas side... she bought Dolce and Gabana perfume today, i told naseeba she needs to "expand her horizons" if she knew i was talking about her on this.. she would probably bust my tail into two. But to think about it naseeba doesn't need blogging or msn or any form of techno gidger gadgets electronic to make her feel okish or happyy:) she feeds off watching BET. or the comedy net work.. yeh she has fun in other ways.... and you know what. i hear her RIGHT NOW laughing like a mad black woman reminds me of dads sisters... naseeba if she ever left or got married before me... i feel sorry for my mom and dad and my friends that would have to put up with my sorry ass, i would miss her.. shes my "solid ground" shes my grand oak..

i wish nas, was five. a cute little chubby rolly tolly sister i could pinch and squeeze, bathe her take her shopping hold her hand and walk around the mall, comb her hair, and kiss those big cheeks with her lamb eyes... and i would smoothered her skin with baby oil, teach her to sing and dance, dress, i would teach her everything!. and at night i would coil her nice and tight in her white fuzzy pj's braid her hair, and tell her a bed time story.... yayayayayaya, i guess i'm reaching that pinical point where mmm.. yeh this seems so wrong to say but "i want a baby" a cute chubyy baby to kiss and bite (k in guyanese "bite") doesn't refer to actually biting .. it's just means that when you see a cute baby, their so cute and sweet you feel like to bite them up like "kissing" them wouldn't be enough you would have to nudge a little at their cheek.. i detested getting bitten by my moms aunts.. it flipping hurt but they said "i was so sweet, they couldn't get enough of me" anyoo as I'm growing and realizing, I feel like biting and kissing up a baby. i told my friends "i want the baby without the process.. no dude nothing" they flipping laughed...well i'm sure they are other healthy alternatives.. adoption i'm 19..hmmm? i would have to get a good decent paying job the pop lab wouldn't cut it :(..anyoo im off to hit the books.

i just felt like dreaming...