Truth bloody hurts..
I'm feeling it all over again - I thought I got rid of it. DONE WITH. But no I was a fool and got lost in this game - I got caught up - I pretended things would go my way. and look - simply alisha, truth has caught up with you. no ' reality' and it's hit ya harder than you think. Just sometimes I wish I never met certain people- because then I wouldn't have to go through ' this' again - it's a cloudy day, and I'm trying to escape it. Today was a good day, productive. My sister just had to come into my room, and without knowing what she was about to tell me. would devestate* me internally and physically. I just looked up to her and said ' don't you know I'm weak and I can not handle this ' I looked to her praying she had not said those words to me. And I asked her one more time ( praying inside she was lying or joking ) oh how badly I wanted her to joke and be like ' Fooled ya sucker ' and she simply laughed and said Yes- I asked her WAllah ? and she said ' yes '. I only ask that question unless something means ' alot ' to me.
She pretened to lye - but I know all too well - I just pray, and always will and still will, even though you are livng out your life, I will remember you.. - always, till the day I die. When I have children of my own I will remember you, when I have grandchildren - I will remember you. I will remember the words, your smile, your laughter , your scent, the hope in your eyes. I looked away because we matched too much- we were magnified and I couldn't hold or lock stares with you. for I would fall into this - helplessly fall into this. Sometimes I think and I re- question myself ..... any flaw between me and you... and there is none.. everything is perfect , then why?
then why ? does this happen. why do I feel? and why do you feel like this ? but we can not do anything about it ? me and you are exact in heart and rhythm, goals , dreams to be fulfilled. then why.. then why ? does this happen. are we too good or too beautiful , to allow to simply hold eachother, and agree to be complete this test of life together, in the eyes of Allah(swt).
To love someone is because their faithful in their religion, to love is to to be honest, and truthful, and to understand...maybe you will get yours , and mine as well. Somtimes I wonder if I should simply call this a ' phase' something that I will over come. But I've seeked, and found the truth, I have being lying to myself.. all this time...
good thinking kiddo
I'm feeling it all over again - I thought I got rid of it. DONE WITH. But no I was a fool and got lost in this game - I got caught up - I pretended things would go my way. and look - simply alisha, truth has caught up with you. no ' reality' and it's hit ya harder than you think. Just sometimes I wish I never met certain people- because then I wouldn't have to go through ' this' again - it's a cloudy day, and I'm trying to escape it. Today was a good day, productive. My sister just had to come into my room, and without knowing what she was about to tell me. would devestate* me internally and physically. I just looked up to her and said ' don't you know I'm weak and I can not handle this ' I looked to her praying she had not said those words to me. And I asked her one more time ( praying inside she was lying or joking ) oh how badly I wanted her to joke and be like ' Fooled ya sucker ' and she simply laughed and said Yes- I asked her WAllah ? and she said ' yes '. I only ask that question unless something means ' alot ' to me.
She pretened to lye - but I know all too well - I just pray, and always will and still will, even though you are livng out your life, I will remember you.. - always, till the day I die. When I have children of my own I will remember you, when I have grandchildren - I will remember you. I will remember the words, your smile, your laughter , your scent, the hope in your eyes. I looked away because we matched too much- we were magnified and I couldn't hold or lock stares with you. for I would fall into this - helplessly fall into this. Sometimes I think and I re- question myself ..... any flaw between me and you... and there is none.. everything is perfect , then why?
then why ? does this happen. why do I feel? and why do you feel like this ? but we can not do anything about it ? me and you are exact in heart and rhythm, goals , dreams to be fulfilled. then why.. then why ? does this happen. are we too good or too beautiful , to allow to simply hold eachother, and agree to be complete this test of life together, in the eyes of Allah(swt).
To love someone is because their faithful in their religion, to love is to to be honest, and truthful, and to understand...maybe you will get yours , and mine as well. Somtimes I wonder if I should simply call this a ' phase' something that I will over come. But I've seeked, and found the truth, I have being lying to myself.. all this time...
good thinking kiddo
posted by Surrendering at 4:37 PM
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