when people see me they ask "what's new, how's life" and I wish sometimes i could actually tell them something "new" that happened, but AlamdiouAllah life has being rolling with the same stone.
i have come to great understanding and after many late night messed up talks that you simply do not need love to get married. marry for "qualities" and basic "understanding" and "trust" so i look to myself mm.. I've seemed to get that down, back lastyear i was willing to do all of the above it came so easy to me with smiles and stars around my head... but this year, well my friend told me "i'm jaded, cold, and cynical" :(yuppperz.maybe the dude his right, guys don't bs for nothing.
it's kinda hard to "delve" into "boy/gal talking" with the need to "know" funny and quirky things about he or she- in the end of it all you want to know that "one" thing that makes them tick. and if you've gotten to that stage well then SubanAllah looks like things are working out for the best, because i have also come to "great understanding" if you can get to stage "Z" and know what makes em tick, they've "allowed" you to enter into their court yard.
do i make sense. it's cold. and i'm always alone. i looked to dark skys tonight for some answers the white clouds were moving swiftly and i swear i saw the sun peak through. i played out this funny, dreammy sceniro in my head... "what if's" and i laughed, and it came out to tears. just tears. i don't know.. they say if you bottle too much it spills.. it's true metaphorically and emotionally and physically.
me and my mom are going to Toronto at the end of December InshAllah. Ah!a break at last.. can't wait. no i'm not going to get hitched there, i just want to see water. i want to go back to the radison sit on the stairs with mommy and listen to the chritmas music chime. InshAllah, it's a "mother/daughter" trip. papa and naseeba are peacing it out. i want to go on a boat and see thousand islands.
i have a friend, that allows me to lay in her arms like a baby. she's warm and soothing like a mother, i tell her she should become a teacher.
feels like i've being walking around in a doll house for too long. i want to see life. i've being allowing it to pass me. i miss meeting new people. i miss summer.
just let this run it's course. pray that when your 50 you can read this entry back, and smile knowing you made it through. you've gotten past the hardest the finish line is there.
i have come to great understanding and after many late night messed up talks that you simply do not need love to get married. marry for "qualities" and basic "understanding" and "trust" so i look to myself mm.. I've seemed to get that down, back lastyear i was willing to do all of the above it came so easy to me with smiles and stars around my head... but this year, well my friend told me "i'm jaded, cold, and cynical" :(yuppperz.maybe the dude his right, guys don't bs for nothing.
it's kinda hard to "delve" into "boy/gal talking" with the need to "know" funny and quirky things about he or she- in the end of it all you want to know that "one" thing that makes them tick. and if you've gotten to that stage well then SubanAllah looks like things are working out for the best, because i have also come to "great understanding" if you can get to stage "Z" and know what makes em tick, they've "allowed" you to enter into their court yard.
do i make sense. it's cold. and i'm always alone. i looked to dark skys tonight for some answers the white clouds were moving swiftly and i swear i saw the sun peak through. i played out this funny, dreammy sceniro in my head... "what if's" and i laughed, and it came out to tears. just tears. i don't know.. they say if you bottle too much it spills.. it's true metaphorically and emotionally and physically.
me and my mom are going to Toronto at the end of December InshAllah. Ah!a break at last.. can't wait. no i'm not going to get hitched there, i just want to see water. i want to go back to the radison sit on the stairs with mommy and listen to the chritmas music chime. InshAllah, it's a "mother/daughter" trip. papa and naseeba are peacing it out. i want to go on a boat and see thousand islands.
i have a friend, that allows me to lay in her arms like a baby. she's warm and soothing like a mother, i tell her she should become a teacher.
feels like i've being walking around in a doll house for too long. i want to see life. i've being allowing it to pass me. i miss meeting new people. i miss summer.
just let this run it's course. pray that when your 50 you can read this entry back, and smile knowing you made it through. you've gotten past the hardest the finish line is there.
posted by Surrendering at 6:07 PM
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