When it was dark, there is now light , where they was weakness i found my strength all in the eyes of a child. Let the rain come down and wash away my tears, let it feel my fears for a new day is too come.

I can write, and write on how werid i feel right now, and how i'm too timid, yes timid, to allow things in life to take its course . since i was little everything had to be perfect, i had to sleep with my sister in a bunkbed, the room HAD to be pink, with barbies flooding the place. Mom had to brush my hair a certain way, braid it tight, with lots and lots of hair products in it, then I had to set out my clothes for school the nextday, pack up my backpack, pack my lunch, and fluff my pillow, set the teddies in their spots, recite all the surrahs*, make a turn onto my stomach , and I would always say this and I still do " you are a fresh new girl, with a fresh new start" and boy I would smile, and I would feel content and happy about myself. I felt happy everyday... I guess I was inncoent of the this cold harsh world, and what it can do to you , and the people that live in it, I thought everyone was my friend, and I had my life set out for me at age ten , yes I clearly remember, and wow I was goal driven, flipping determined on getting what I wanted, and how to get it, I'm sad that I didn't allow that heat to stay in me.... it would have carried me off to good places by now, but then I sigh* and tell myself, I'm okay, I'm doing alright in life, and thats the way things are supposed to be .........

well theres no turning back, it's all down hill from here, or uphill, how you decide to truck is your choice...... you know what made me feel good today, holding a baby, and it actually wanted to come too me ....